I began my working life in 2002 as a fresh-faced interpreter with the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC), taking up a posting in Iraq just before the war broke out. What started out as an opportunity to improve my Arabic, prior to a planned return ‘home’ to complete a Master’s degree, rapidly morphed as I became immersed in the panoply of competing needs that is the humanitarian worker’s daily lot.

Witnessing also the immense satisfaction that comes from rendering service to one’s fellow human, particularly in the context of extreme disadvantage resulting from conflict, I applied to become a ‘delegate’. Fast-forward almost 20 years and I am still with ICRC. Humanitarian work has shaped who I am today but also left me with a few scars. I humbly submit some personal learnings (in no particular order) as a testament to the worthwhile nature of this profession, touching also on the reality of undertaking such work within a large organisation.

1. Be humble

Not a day goes by now when I don’t pause to reflect how privileged I am. I owe my heightened state of awareness (compared to when I was growing up and surrounded by privilege but probably oblivious) to my participation in humanitarian work: firstly, to the people I was fortunate enough to meet along the way; and secondly, to several events during the course of my work in the field that underscored what microscopic specks we really are in this universe and how fragile life is.

Some of the most impressive people I have met are so humble that you have no choice but to respect them. It takes great strength to avoid being judgemental of a person who has clearly learned a life lesson through their actions and is in a state of regret. Human beings are fallible; the question is whether we choose to learn from the mistakes we make. It takes a person of significant strength of character to openly admit their mistakes. On the rare occasion it happens, take note.

No matter how much experience you have had, or what you think you know, there is always another perspective. People never cease to amaze me; just when you think you are starting to get a handle on things, you meet someone new who opens your eyes to new horizons. Always be ready to take a step back and review your assumptions.

Photo by Juliana Malta on Unsplash

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Part of humility is knowing where to draw this line. It is said that those who yearn for power lack humility. On the other hand, those who are humble can earn great respect and thereby unwittingly hold great sway amongst their peers and those they encounter in life; arguably a different kind of power.

In today’s changed world of communication, it seems to me that the trend is towards making noise, favouring those who get out there and trumpet their own agenda. This approach has its own merits but disproportionally penalises those who choose to stay silent or are too shy to speak up. Silence is often a sign of humility gained through experience and a valuable opportunity for new perspective may be lost in not soliciting this person’s views.

2. Listen, listen, listen

Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash

Along with the gradual professionalisation of humanitarian action a certain level of organisational bureaucracy has become more prevalent. I often struggled with having to balance the technical requirements of my role – namely, gathering information in order for my organisation to have reliable data upon which to base representations to the outside world – with the need to listen to the person you are talking to. I was frequently tasked with asking the same list of questions to dozens of people consecutively. This requires a great deal of energy to avoid sounding tired and to be perceived by each person as truly listening to their responses. Add to this the fact that some people take time to warm up to you, to trust you, because you are a foreigner, a stranger, someone from outside their culture.

Sometimes, just listening can be enough on its own. I have met people who were so broken they just wanted someone to listen to them – no judgement, no probing. It took time to hone this skill. When people have lost their inner spirit, their morale, their dignity, they need time to rebuild their own confidence. By lending an ear, you empower them to reclaim their humanity, their inner force, step by step.

3. You can’t solve all the world’s problems on your own

Photo by Siddhant Kumar on Unsplash

At times, it all became too much. I thought I had never-ending reserves of energy and gave of myself until I was ready to drop. At that point (whether I was conscious of this or not) I was no longer good to anyone. Thankfully I had the privilege of working with some empathetic managers who knew when to tell me to slow down.

With time, I learned that when working in this field you need to prioritise your own physical and mental health, in order to be able to continue helping those in need in the long run. Put simply: take care of you first, because the hits will keep on coming and you never know what challenges lie ahead.

As for needs, there will always be new ones and unfortunately, the romantic idea that humanitarian workers will one day manage to resolve all problems perfectly is an illusion. It’s not all rosy out there. In a world full of suffering we have to make choices and prioritise needs. This proved a hard pill to swallow at the beginning of my involvement in the humanitarian world. When you get some perspective you understand that you need to take a step back occasionally in order to avoid making what might be the wrong decision based solely on your emotional response. In itself, such an instinctual response may feel right, however in doing so you might end up endangering your colleagues and/or the future of the entire humanitarian operation.

4. Attacks against you are not always directed at you personally

Photo by Franck V. on Unsplash

Attacks can be of all kinds, not only physical but also verbal. I experienced both.

This is a tough one. One’s first reaction might be to take it personally.

But take the time to move a step back and analyse what happened. Better remove your emotions from the analysis. There could be any number of reasons why it happened: a cry for help, based on some (mis-) perception, something your organisation or a co-worker did that you are mistaken for.

I used to spend a lot of time in search of a rationalisation for such incidents. As harsh as it may sound, in many cases, a satisfactory explanation may never be forthcoming. This can be mentally draining, but if you want to find peace in this sector you had better find a way to live with not knowing.

5. Being principled can be tough – just when you think it couldn’t get worse, it does

Photo by Hello I’m Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

Adopting neutral behaviour is not an innate skill we are born with. It is learned with experience. On the other hand, it is a heavy responsibility and should not be a veil we automatically use to hide behind in the face of extreme resistance. Learning how to manoeuvre in such situations takes time. It also requires infinite amounts of patience.

There have been times when I have questioned my entire approach and doubted my chosen course of action in particular circumstances. This is natural and healthy and all part of developing your intuition. A close friend of mine told me to trust my gut; I have found that more often than not this approach pays dividends.

At the end of the day, you are going to have to take decisions without access to all the information you would ideally prefer to have. This is life. What you can do is try to make the best possible decision based on the information available and what you believe is right.

6. If you don’t speak up (internally) about something which is bothering you, you may regret it

Photo by Louis Smit on Unsplash

Sometimes you become aware about a difficult situation (some kind of violation or unmet need) that is taking place and realise that if you don’t speak up, it will persist and no-one will ever know. Deep down you know from a moral point of view that you should not stay silent. In such instances, I suggest you throw the piece of your own selfish ego out of the window that worries about the consequences of being called out by your colleagues. Naturally in these dilemmas it helps to come to the table with a positive attitude and to offer practical solutions. In this way, you will at least have tried to go the extra mile. Since we humanitarian workers often find ourselves amongst a few in the world having both an awareness of and the capacity to effect change in a particular situation, your courage can save both lives and dignity, so don’t hold back.

One little caveat: if you lack experience, at least take the time to listen first to those with more. Distinguish between speaking up internally (perfectly fine) and taking risky behaviour out in the field. Being courageous in the field for selfish reasons can not only endanger your own life and your colleagues’ lives, but most importantly result in the suspension of humanitarian aid to countless numbers of people on account of your actions. Above all, remember it is not about you. It’s about the people whom you are trying to help.

7. Behave respectfully and predictably at all times

Photo by Marc Schulte on Unsplash

War zones are tense places and like it or not, as humanitarian workers coming from the outside, you are constantly being watched and observed. To be able to get your work done you have to do the hard work of building trust, not only with those you are trying to help, but of equal importance, with those who have a stake in you being able to render such assistance. This means that you should make sure your behaviour remains consistent not only whilst at work but also outside of working hours.

8. Human beings will be human beings, humanitarian or not

Photo by John Simitopoulos on Unsplash

More recently, I was surprised to meet a new staff member who was shocked at the existence of fallible human behaviour inside a humanitarian organisation. It is easy to automatically assume that because an organisation is aimed at providing humanitarian assistance, the individual behaviours of its staff reflect those beliefs.

And they were right of course. The staff of a humanitarian organisation should by rights display humanitarian behaviours at all times.

At the same time, and offered purely as an observation with no intent to justify their existence, systems remain systems. The effect and tendency towards system-regulated conformity has been well documented in organisations. In fact there is a constant struggle between those who crave uniformity and predictability, and those who push the barriers, incessantly questioning the status quo to improve and to prompt change when change is needed.

I find the best way in such situations is to try to find ways to propose creative solutions, but not at any cost. If I reached a dead end, I never excluded more definitive action. The issue is considering whether what you propose will make a difference and if not, what alternative action you could undertake.

At the same time, I always did my best to put in the extra work to understand the humanitarian system. This helped provide some answers even if this took time and not inconsiderable effort. The sector is certainly complex. I found having a broad support network (both internally & externally) helped immensely.

9. Life is short, make it count

Photo by Antonio Poveda Montes on Unsplash

From first-hand experience, losing colleagues is heart-breaking. And it never gets easier. We all know that it could happen at any moment, so the only way to operate under such pressure is to develop a metaphorical layer of thick skin. However in developing such a defence mechanism we can progressively lose touch with our feelings and undermine our life’s purpose, at least in a professional context; we need to be able to feel to be able to help. In the beginning, I remember wondering why my more experienced colleagues often had such a dark sense of humour – with the benefit of hindsight I think I’m finally closer to understanding why. It is their way of coping.

There have been times when I really thought it was the end. It was then that you realise what is really important in life – your family and friends – and suddenly it all becomes clear.

10. Never lose hope

Photo by Faris Mohammed on Unsplash

There is intense beauty in the darkest of places. Humans have an incredible capacity to be cruel, but the human spirit can overcome the most heinous adversity. I have often been touched when it transpired that it was the people who had lost everything who were the most generous.

Even in the most draconian environments, I met many humane people. They did what they could to help out and this was laudable. You might look down on them for staying but I believe the truth is more nuanced. Everyone does what they can where they are.

When faced with setbacks in trying to help people in need, you never know if you are in it for the long haul. Sometimes you will have to be patient. Most importantly, never give up, because you can always make a contribution that will be used by others in the future as a stepping stone to a more satisfactory outcome.

With time, I have come to realise that humanitarian work is not just about rendering assistance to others. It is also about giving them the space to carve out their own solutions.

Unfortunately, so many people around the world suffer in silence without anyone to come to their aid. This applies in war zones as much as it does in non-war contexts. If we do not help them, who will? So the next time you see or hear about someone in need, try hard to listen beyond whatever preconceptions you may have, beyond the propaganda and stereotypical tags you hear in the media. Try to listen to their real story. There are always (at least) two sides and it’s rarely straightforward.

Remember, your simple actions are the glue that keeps humanity together, that prevents us from falling into the abyss of neglect, nonchalance and indifference.

You don’t have to be a humanitarian worker to be human. At the end of the day, no matter where we come from or what we think, each of us has the capacity to reach out and be compassionate.

That can make all the difference.

What are you going to do differently from now on?